Taiwan would like to be Asia's No.1 in many things. But to lead the region in divorce is not one of them. This became true, however, in 1991, when 6.3 out of every 1,000 couples divorced. Last year, the rate grew to 6.4 percent, with more than 29,000 couples ending their marriages. Although this percentage is much lower than in the United States or Europe, it is high by Asian standards and is expected to continue increasing.
Today, more than seventy Taiwan couples divorce every day, or almost three couples every hour. Most of these divorces are not granted by court degree, but take place merely by mutual consent between the husband and wife. During the first six months of this year, 1,162 cases were processed by the island's divorce courts, but thousands of other couples simply signed divorce papers at a lawyer's office and presented them to a local household registration office.
The preference for this kind of divorce reflects the traditional Chinese reluctance to solve family disputes within the court system. There is a widespread belief that even an honest and wise judge cannot properly handle family matters. For women, however, there is a more important reason for keeping a divorce out of court. Because traditional male centered values are still heavily embedded in the current divorce laws, a court-decided divorce can be a bad deal for a woman. For this reason, many women whose husbands will not agree to a divorce will stay married rather than go to court.
Wang A-pao, director of Warm Life—"Perhaps we should first look into marriage itself before blaming social instability on the high divorce rate."
It can also be risky for a wife simply to leave her husband, even if he has mistreated her. Taipei attorney Dagmar Mei-nu Yu (尤美女) explains that the Civil Law requires a woman to assume the same home address as her husband. This address is registered in the police district where the couple resides. If the wife moves elsewhere, the husband can sue for divorce based on malicious abandonment. "In such a case, she'll be kept in the dark about the divorce suit because the subpoena for her to appear in court will be sent only to her legal residence, that is, her husband's residence," Yu says. "When she fails to appear in court to defend her self, she automatically loses the case."
In fact, few women take this course of action. Although malicious abandonment was listed as the grounds in 57 percent of the divorce suits filed in the first half of this year, the majority of these involved the husband abandoning the wife.
For a woman in Taiwan, losing a divorce case can mean losing her children. The Civil Law, which includes divorce laws, states that custody belongs to the children's natural father, based on the tradition that children carryon the father's family name. Although the Civil Law was changed in 1985 to provide equal rights for women in other areas, rules concerning child custody did not change.
Attorney Dagmar Mei-nu Yu—Because the 1920s Civil Law was not changed until 1985, "it's going to be very difficult for lawmakers to change the law again."
Yu finds the law discriminatory not only against women, but also against children. "They are treated as the parents' property rather than as individuals," she says. Usually, the court does not take into consideration which parent might be the better caregiver. A father is automatically given custody, even if he plans to hand the children over to his mother or another relative, a common practice among divorced fathers.
If the father is abusive or otherwise not a suitable parent, a woman can resort to the Children's Welfare Law, revised in February this year. The court may then take custody away from the father and give it to the mother or another relative. But the law applies only to children under 12. "The Youth Welfare Law did not change along with the Children's Welfare Law," Yu says. "It does not protect abused or molested children between 12 and 18."
But if a husband and wife agree, the woman can keep the children. At times, however, this turns into a sort of black mail. Some women end up paying their husbands large sums of money in exchange for custody.
Women do have more rights than be fore when it comes to property settlements. The 1985 changes to the Civil Law allow a woman to keep property that she can verify as her own if it was obtained after 1985. Any property bought before that year falls under the old law and automatically goes to the husband, unless the couple makes their own agreement. Yu points out a common situation: "If a couple worked hard together to obtain some assets before 1985, and neither of them has acquired anything since then, the wife still gets nothing when she divorces."
The law in Taiwan also does not provide for alimony, unless the woman can prove that she is destitute. This can be very difficult, Yu says, unless the wife is seriously ill or handicapped. "Today even the handicapped are able to support themselves," she points out. In this situation, some women do not fight for custody of their children simply because they cannot afford to care for them.
Next!—About 70 couples finalize their divorce at a local household registration office every day, and the number is increasing. A 1993 survey shows that 57 percent of interviewees believe it is better to divorce than stay in an unhappy marriage.
Some divorcing couples do make agreements in which the husband pays a certain sum of money for support. Wayne W. Chang (張偉能), a creative director at Taiwan Ogilvy & Mather Advertising, gave his ex-wife NT$2 million (US$74,000) when they divorced in May, following a two-year separation. Before the divorce, Chang says his friends advised him that if he took the case to court, he wouldn't have to pay anything. But he felt this would be unfair to his wife. "I think I'm lucky that I don't have to support her all her life," says Chang, who also shares custody of their child with his former wife.
Women face unfair treatment in divorce even when they are victims of domestic violence. In order to gain a divorce on such grounds, they must provide proof that they have actually been injured. Wang A-pao (王阿保), director of Warm Life, a private organization that helps people deal with divorce, points out that there are not always physical signs of violence. Some husbands, she says, have even learned to beat their wives without leaving any visible marks. Even when there is evidence, many doctors refuse to provide medical statements for battered wives, fearing that they might have to appear in court as a witness or that the victim's husband might take revenge on them. Also, for some Chinese it is a serious matter to get involved in a divorce case, since this is tantamount to disrupting the harmony of another family. Friends, relatives, and neighbors are often reluctant to help a battered wife.
When a woman is able to obtain a medical statement that she has been abused, the judge may still consider her injuries too minor to warrant a divorce. About 11 percent of the divorces handled by the court are granted for reasons of violence, and most of these involve wives who have been frequently abused or beaten over a period of time. Attorney Yu finds that most judges stick to a certain minimum standard in violence cases. "What's important to the judge is how much damage there has been," she says. "If you are beaten mercilessly even once, I think the judge will grant the divorce."
For women, losing a divorce case often means losing the children. Under Taiwan Civil Law, custody belongs to the natural father unless he agrees to give up the kids.
Although family violence has been a part of Chinese society for a long time, it is only in recent years that the issue has received attention. Thanks to the several women's organizations that have now been established, more women are willing to ask for help. There have also been a number of studies on the problem. Sociologist Chen Jo-chang (陳若璋) has found in her research that family violence exists at all socio-economic levels. One of her studies shows that 37 percent of battered women and 65 percent of husbands who beat their wives have college degrees.
According to Warm Life, the most common reason for divorce is not violence, but adultery. "Ninety-five percent of the divorce cases that Warm Life deals with are caused by the 'other woman,'" says Wang A-pao. When it comes to court cases, however, only 3.3 percent of the divorces granted in the first half of this year involved adultery. The reason for the discrepancy is that the court requires evidence to prove an adultery accusation. A wife, for example, might have to provide photographs of her husband and his mistress in bed together—usually taken with the help of a private investigator. In addition, when the two are caught, a police officer must be called to the scene as an official witness. Many spouses are unwilling to go through this process. "It would be too painful," Yu says.
Wayne Chang, whose own divorce involved another woman, feels that extramarital affairs have become prevalent in Taiwan because of the increasing number of women in the workplace. "Men still play the active role," he says, "but some women are becoming so liberal that they don't mind seeing married men."
Taiwan's high number of sex-oriented establishments, such as hostess bars and massage parlors, are also a temptation for many men. But a more re cent phenomenon that has contributed to extramarital affairs is the increasing number of Taiwan businessmen spending time in mainland China. Some men use these extended business trips as an opportunity to keep a mistress in the mainland. In some cases, the husbands stop returning home and no longer support their families in Taiwan. A Taipei court recently ordered one such husband to pay his wife NT$10 million (US$370,000), the island's highest ever divorce settlement.
Extramarital affairs, of course, involve wives as well as husbands. Taipei Life Lines, a 24-hour crisis line, used to receive many calls from women who were upset about unfaithful husbands. Recently, the number of male callers complaining about their wives having affairs has been growing. Workers at Life Lines point out that the social lives of many working women and housewives are now much more active, providing them more opportunities to meet men. A big difference, however, is that few women will choose to leave their marriage for the "other man," especially when children are involved.
Whatever the reasons behind the climbing divorce rate, they reflect a major change in attitude: divorce is no longer the personal disgrace that it once was. Just ten years ago, a divorced woman was still frowned upon for failing to be a good wife, even if her husband was responsible for the breakup. A survey taken this year by the Ministry of the Interior shows a marked change in attitude. Fifty-seven percent of the 3,700 people interviewed said it is better for a couple to divorce than stay in an unhappy marriage. Among those supporting this way of thinking, 62.3 percent were women and 53.6 percent were men.
In many divorces, it is the woman who is taking the initiative to end the marriage. According to the Taiwan Supreme Court, 61 percent of the divorce suits so far this year were filed by the wife. Ellen Huang (黃越綏), a Taipei marriage counselor, points to higher education and financial independence among women, as well as a rising awareness of equal rights. "When women are allowed more space to assert their own needs," Huang says, "they are less willing to accept a poor quality marriage."
Sung Yue-mei (not her real name) completed divorce procedures less than a month after discovering that her husband had been unfaithful. "There is no point in keeping a marriage," she says, "when I can not trust the person who is supposed to be closest to me in my life." Her husband agreed to sign the divorce paper only when she agreed to pay off his debts. Sung says, however, that she had fewer problems to resolve than some women: "I wouldn't have wanted a divorce if I had children."
More women are filing for divorce also because they have a better understanding of the legal process. Many are becoming better informed about their rights through lectures and books by legal experts and through the mass media. Dagmar Yu's book Love, Law and New Women has become a handy source for many women since it was published last year. The book deals with property, child custody, and other matters related to divorce. For a number of years, Yu has been a legal consultant for Warm Life and the Awakening Foundation, a women's group. "I must admit," she says, "that I didn't think carefully about how unfairly women are treated under the law until I got involved with Warm Life."
Yu's realization inspired her to help establish a legal group focusing on updating divorce laws. The group, set up in 1990 with several other lawyers, has completed a revised draft of the law. But Yu is not sure if the time is right to present it to the legislature. "It's been only seven and a half years since the old Civil Law was revised for the first time since 1920," she says. "We're aware that it's going to be very difficult for lawmakers to change the law again."
Yu thinks the most important thing that must be done in the meantime is to cultivate public awareness of how out dated some of Taiwan's laws are. "When people realize the importance of having these laws revised, it will be easier for us to persuade the lawmakers," she says.
Changing the law, of course, will not lower the divorce rate. Wang A-pao of Warm Life even questions if divorce is really a detriment to society. "Perhaps we should first look into marriage itself be fore blaming social instability on the high divorce rate," she says. More important than trying to lower the divorce rate, she says, is setting up a social support system for people who are divorced, especially those with children. She feels there should be more programs for single parents and that teachers should be educated to understand the kinds of problems facing children from broken families.
Dagmar Yu also thinks there must be a change in attitudes toward marriage. The traditional reason for marriage—to have children to carryon the family name—is no longer adequate in modem society. "Do we still marry for that purpose? Or do we marry because we want to spend the rest of our life with someone we love and care for?" Yu asks. "When we are able to answer these questions, we can probably help reduce the number of un happy couples, broken families, and problem children." •